assertivness

Where has it got me?
well, divorced for one!
but that is unregretable, when I asserted myself at work, I got shuffled around to stay out of certain brown nosers way,
Hows a person to escape these days?!
cant even afford the gas.
sucks on ice.
I long for adventure, I see folks more sedentary or unfortunate than me- and think ,"Yikes!" how do they do it?, how many kinda folks do ya think there are ?
, some are just wired different, how else can ya explain that there are toll booth workers, insurance salesmen, Amway people,
proctoligists,
foot Drs, housewives,
people who work at a Vets and express the anal glands on dogs,
restroom cleaners in bars,
but for the grace of God go I?
My sister says we're the product of a Geek marriage, that may explain my want for MORE, not more stuff, more life! more color, more words, art, love,tastes,sights, passion,
Do qwe all? some folks just go home, and watch tv, I'd rather go to jail!
I need a BIG project- any suggestions?

the economy/my vacation/sux

well, finally in a spot away from work, a vaction, and I'm to poor to even pay attention- and gas is getting MORE expensive?!
crap,
whens it gonna end?
So! a creative mind is never bored..
visited a friends horse farm, did the beach, a County Fair, hotter than a half forked fox in a forest fire, it was.
Made bread from all the free zuchinnis..wish I could stick a zuchinni in my gas tank, why dont some Eintein figure out how to do that?
We could then tel'm to stick them barrels up their arse.
Not just the gas though- crafty evil men in this country have found ways to dominate women by putting a low ceiling on wages in predominately female jobs- like nursing- my ex works in a nuke plant and is a real Homer! he made over 70 thousand last year- and me? about 18- I have to be certified to handle narcotics, know cpr, and stuff like the heimlich manuever- and boy wonder and all his compadres make mad cash- what the hell!
But I did have a "one up" on the old boy this week, daughter brought a innocent enough grocery bag from his house , and in it a slip - those computerized statements of those purchaseing stuff- /w/ everything on it - it was stuff bought /w/ his "girlfriend" a vacant eyed moron, who dont see him as Beezlebub..... yet .
It says she is older than dirt!! had her Bday on it! Ha!
made me realize that judegeing from all his past escapades, I was foolish to set my sights so low- Ladies: when ya set yer sights too low- some weasals will try to get ya down to their level! dont do it!
I vow to never get caught again- nope
not gonna happen!

one of them days

dontcha wish you could tell people whats really in yer heart via telapathic communication?
maybe it works, maybe some folks just dont listen ?
I wish people were clear like plastic- cut through all the bullshit, they would know your sincere, and know when others are evil.
Feeling bad today about some people feeding people I know crap and being unable to defend myself.
Women are the worst enemies to have..well,maybe besides Donald Trump, I'm sure he's greedy and mean.
They say the 1st will be last and the last will be 1st,
like ..when!?
sometimes it makes me doubt if God gives a crap about us little folks.
Some of us just get more misery than we should- what the hell is up /w/ that?
Hell /w/ mansions of gold and all- I want love and respect now!,
then I would live in a tumble down yurt when I get to the pearlie gates- cuz we're gonna be happy anyway? , right, thats what they say.
I guess I should seek enlightenment through some other sourse thn the bullshit religions that advrtise in the phone books.
Went to a Cahtoloc festival the other night- it was all about gambling, even liberal me knows that is wrong, sheesh.
Do we all wonder this stuff?

why are we always in the dark about things?

folks I know

have a friend who had a mental breakdown recently, I blame prepaid legal for it, she got caught up in it bigtime, I believe its a peramid scheme, - I told her if they are makeing you a millionaire -how come the lady who signed you up was working from a card table?
how come they meet in a ratty old storefront that the tea shop moved out of- and not the Taj Mahal?!
another friend of hers did her laundry while she was "gone" and they were talking as I stopped /w/ her to pick it up,
the other lady went nutz before too, and was offering advice like" next time you go "CAMPING".."
thats a good way to put it, I think.

went to a show- a belly dance show in Akron the yesterday,some of the other members from this other troupe were real hefers, they thought "belly" dance means big bellies, but its origin is actucally dervived from the "belidi" beat, not a slang for stomach.

I work /w/ the retarded population, I heard today a night shift lady got fired on the spot for smacking one- she lost it, it aint easy working /w/ the folks other people dont want, we dont get paid nearly enough, I'd like to see people who make over 50 thousand a year try my job,
I'm gonna retire to a country store, no more commuteing, back to the hills,
they want to make Ashtabula Co. here into Ohio into Appalacia, wow.
when I left Pa. Appalacia followed me, mights as well go back.
So many of us are out cuz of the jobs in the 50's to 70's, now theyre gone,
hillbillys built this country, theres a big differance between hillbillies and white trash, I wish people would see that,
I'm looking to bail.